Why Female masturbation seems to be a taboo to be ashamed to talk about?

There is a saying that the marginalization of female masturbation is related to the sexual repression of women in the patriarchal society. In a patriarchal society, there are differences in the status of men and women. Men’s needs are placed at the center, while women are used to meet various needs of men, including sexual needs. Therefore, the patriarchal society forces women to serve the sexual desires of men through various discourses.

For example, women can be intimidated by being told that men are sexually driven creatures and that if women don’t satisfy men’s desires, they may be short-tempered, cheat, or rape women. Another typical example is the patriarchal society using pleasure as a coercion to make women meet the needs of men.

By portraying women as passive and dependent on male spouses for pleasure, women are indoctrinated with the false idea that sexual satisfaction can only be achieved by having sex with men.

In this way, they must cooperate with the desires of men in order to obtain the happiness they want. And female masturbation will debunk this lie, because through masturbation, women can obtain sexual pleasure without relying on men.

This also leaves a patriarchal society with one less way to control women. As a result, female masturbation, as one of the important paths to sexual autonomy, has been blocked from mainstream discourse.

Myths about female masturbation

Because female masturbation has not been discussed for a long time, people have accumulated a lot of misconceptions about female masturbation. In this regard, we listed some common myths about female masturbation and investigated how much KYers agreed with these myths.

Myth 1: Female masturbation darkens the pussy

16.02% of the respondents agree with this view
Similar to the so-called “more sex, women’s labia will become ‘black fungus'” rumors, some people mistakenly believe that the more masturbation, the labia will become darker due to friction.

But in fact, the color of a woman’s pussy and areola is not related to sexual experience and the number of masturbation, but to the level of sex hormones. When both men and women enter puberty, changes in hormone levels cause melanin to deposit in the private parts, making the color darker (Gander, 2016).

Myth 2: Female masturbation affects the menstrual cycle

27.67% of the respondents agree with this view
In fact, the menstrual cycle is related to factors such as sleep and stress conditions, but not masturbation behavior. For example, some people feel that masturbation delays the menstrual cycle, it may be a coincidence; it may also be because she was stressed during that time, and she tends to use masturbation to release the pressure, the delay in menstruation is actually the effect of stress, not masturbation caused by itself.

Some respondents also mentioned in the questionnaire that they felt breathless and weak after masturbation, and they were worried that masturbation would damage their bodies. In fact, masturbation itself is not harmful to the body, on the contrary, it relieves stress, aids sleep, and is even used to relieve menstrual pain (Kendall, 2013; Friedman, 2017).

However, masturbating when you are already tired or uncomfortable (for example, when you work overtime until 3:00 a.m. can’t keep your eyelids open) may increase the burden on your body; and if you don’t exercise regularly, you may feel tired from doing any exercise. (Author: After all, if you want to climax, you can’t get it for nothing, you still have to put in physical effort);

In addition, some women’s shame and anxiety about masturbation will also exert negative psychological cues, which will eventually manifest themselves as physical discomfort.

Myth 3: Female masturbation is bad for sex with your partner

5.34% of the respondents agree with this view
Masturbating after having a partner is common. Our survey found that 94% of those who masturbated and had a partner still masturbate.

Some people worry that masturbation will affect sexual behavior with partners, making people less keen to have sex with their partners. On the contrary, masturbation can improve the quality of sex life for people and partners. Research has found that married women who masturbated to orgasm were more satisfied with their marital and sexual lives than women who did not (Shelton, 2013).

Masturbation fuels people’s desires. The better the orgasm experience, the more sex you want. Those who masturbated more also had more sexual partners and a higher frequency of sex (Shelton, 2013).

If you feel that masturbation affects your sex life with your partner, you may need to “reflect” not on masturbation, but on the quality of your sex life with your partner. For example, in the survey, someone mentioned that sex with her partner was uncomfortable, but masturbation made her happy, so she turned to masturbation more, and therefore felt that masturbation affected the frequency of her sexual activity with her partner. But the root problem here is that the quality of her and her partner’s sex life may need to be improved, not masturbation. Masturbation was instead her solution to dissatisfaction.

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