Gender differences in thinking lead to different strategies when arguing
1. Girls are more delicate and emotional in their way of thinking.
They are good at using the sixth sense to capture clues: For example, when did the boyfriend change the password on his mobile phone? Which one of your boyfriend’s words is perfunctory? Or is your boyfriend a ghost?
These captured things are all temporary, live material: such as a boyfriend’s eyes, a tone, and even a body movement.
This ability to capture details and magnify is called in psychology – slice capture
So every time there is a conflict, the girl’s reaction is particularly strong, because she can keenly capture a lot of her boyfriend’s perfunctory, disdain and aggression in just a few minutes.
2. Boys are more objective and rational in their way of thinking.
They are good at using logic to reason about various previous experiences, such as what does his girlfriend dislike and what does he say? What’s your girlfriend’s favorite way of making amends? How long does it take for a girlfriend to relax?
To draw these conclusions, he needs to go through a lot of “experiments”: for example, is it useful to use a reasonable way for the first time? Is it useful to see in an angry way the second time? Is it useful to see in silence for the third time?
Some boys find that anger and confrontation are very useful, so basically every time there is a conflict, they will quarrel in the dark; while some boys find that no matter what method is used, it is useless, and in the end, they have to wait for the girl to let go of their anger before they can slowly I coaxed it well, so I simply “put it down” and simply kept silent.
Here’s what a guy said to his girlfriend during my two-way consultation:
“I’ll tell you the truth, you say that girls are used to coax; when I coax you, you get even more aggressive and more angry; in the end, it won’t end until you get angry. So I just don’t talk anymore, Let you get rid of your anger as soon as possible to end this matter.”
Boys habitually use rational thinking to attribute the reasons that affect girls’ emotions to ‘the girls themselves’.
To put it simply, the boy thinks that no matter what he does, it will not change his girlfriend’s mood, so if he simply does nothing, the silence will be over.