“I’m always worried that I’m not attractive to men” What is “sexual inferiority complex”?
A survey study (Rowland & Van Lankveld, 2019) showed that 5-25% of women are anxious about having sex. Moreover, this value may even be the result of an underestimation.
So, why do some women have good conditions, but still have this kind of sexual inferiority? What are the effects of low self-esteem in women? What to do as a woman who is experiencing this kind of sexual inferiority?
Through the analysis of relevant research, women’s sexual inferiority and anxiety usually come from the following reasons:
1) Low self-esteem, especially with regard to one’s body image
Research (Wiederman, 2000) has pointed out that many women have negative self-perceptions about their body image, such as feeling that they are too fat or that a certain body part is not refined enough (Garner, 1991), which may lead them to have a relationship with that All kinds of anxiety arise when someone special “rolls the sheets.”
For these women, the causes of low physical self-esteem are diverse.
Sometimes it emerges from an individual’s early experiences. For example, a girl has experienced cynicism or even verbal violence because of her body shape; or her family has strict standards for weight and appearance, which have accumulated over time and subtly led her to form a kind of self that is almost harsh on her body image. Require.
But it may be hard to deny that, more generally, it comes from deeply ingrained sociocultural influences.
In many cultures, female sexual attractiveness is often considered to be directly equated with good looks and slenderness (Harris et al., 1991).
In addition, with the development of the times, the popularity of social networks, and the advocacy of specific aesthetics by social media (such as “white and thin”, “A4 waist”, etc.), it has also greatly exacerbated young women’s appearance and body anxiety.
This leads to this long-term and pervasive sexual inferiority, or anxiety about not being satisfied with their body shape, even for those women who are already considered slim and beautiful in the eyes of the public.
Especially in those moments when they are more “candid”, objectively speaking, in the hearts of women, the other party’s “evaluation” of their body at this time is more direct and naked – this will undoubtedly deepen the negative attitude towards their own body. Cognitive anxiety in women.
2) Lack of proper sex education
Sexual anxiety and low self-esteem are often also influenced by the social expectations and sexuality education we receive from childhood to adulthood.
Sex education is not just limited to educating how to have sex, but it allows us to realize that the needs and functions of individuals in sex are different from person to person (Cohut, 2018).
If a woman has received inappropriate sex education during her growth, it will lead to unrealistic fantasies or misunderstandings about her sex life, unclear certain ways and techniques to gain pleasure during sex, misunderstandings about pregnancy, Worrying about your sexual needs and thoughts is not normal…
For example, although female DIY has become more and more accepted by the public, many times, “masturbation” is still portrayed as a shameful and even dangerous behavior. However, research (Kaestle & Allen, 2011) points out that masturbation can actually improve our relationship with our body and sexuality.
All of these will make these women feel a sense of uncertainty and insecurity in the face of sexual behavior, so they will have varying degrees of anxiety.
3) Self-objectification
Many self-objectifying women subconsciously think that she needs to please their partner during sex.
Sex life is more like a performance than a pleasurable experience for them – to a certain extent, they use themselves as a sexual tool to meet their partner’s sexual needs, and every time they should be intimate and affectionate.” Applause for love”, but for her, it is a “report performance” that needs to be reviewed again and again.
It is not difficult to imagine that under such a psychological drive, she will be particularly worried about whether she has maximized her “function”.
It is worth mentioning that there are a small number of women whose sexual anxiety stems from early sexual trauma experiences, such as sexual violence or sexual assault. In this case, we suggest that they should seek professional treatment as soon as possible.