Does first sex really matter to girls? Will it be a milestone in life?
Although I have heard many stories, I decided to do an interview when I wanted to answer these questions. I wanted to know who their first sex partner was, what kind of situation they were in, and what kind of life insights they had. I threw this topic into my community and asked the lady who was embarrassed to share it to write me an email. However, in the content I received, the first time of three girls happened to be the story of their first love.
These stories are a bit similar, but have their own tastes.
1.The idea at that time was very simple, the first and the last:
“18 years old, and my first love, I didn’t want to do it with him at the time, it should be the first time I went to his city, he wanted me at night, but I was not ready. I told him, I want to have the first time I leave it to the person who is most worthy of my love. Later, when I saw him endure the pain, I drank a bottle of wine and…
At that time, I used to think that he was my first and last man, that our relationship was hopeless, but it still lost to reality. As for the later experience, it is to unlock new gameplay together, but it is still very young when I think about it now. “
The first love, the first sex, and finally losing to reality, this is the final result of most first loves. Even if we unlock new gameplay, we cannot retain our immaturity in emotional processing.
A lot of first loves are because they are pure, clear and beautiful. It’s not always nice, however, that men of the same age are immature.
2.”The first time was the summer vacation after graduating from high school. I felt that my sexual enlightenment was earlier. Maybe I was more curious about sex, and then I liked my boyfriend at the time. It happened naturally without any sense of ritual, but there was no any Pleasure, I still remember that the other party thought that it was not the first time that he and I were more interested because he didn’t see the red. Fortunately, I knew at the time that it was not the first time to see the red. The bleeding was an injury, so I didn’t care too much.
In the next half year, I didn’t have a very frequent relationship, because I felt that there was no pleasure and just satisfied him. Until I went to college and my boyfriend was in a different place. Divorced after a year. So I think sex is mutual. Through sex, you can actually see whether the other party cares about your feelings, and it is also one of the key points to promote emotional warming. For me, there is no good intimacy without good sex. “
Let nature take its course, but he didn’t expect him to think that it’s not your first time. Maybe you didn’t value your first time too much, but the feeling of being wrongly blamed may feel wronged. In fact, many women have no pleasure in the beginning of sex, and more just to meet the needs of their boyfriends.
And this process of satisfaction is the dedication of many ignorant girls to love. This dedication is likely to be the starting point of the loss of emotional balance. Once someone feels that I have paid, then the sentence behind it is that you should be responsible for me, be good to me, and my happiness is related to you.
But this seems to be in line with our mainstream cultural expectations: the girl meets the prince, and they live happily ever after.
Sure enough, fairy tales are all lies. Many women have no orgasm after sex, and even the pleasure is not obvious. Because many girls’ first time is not active choice but passive acceptance, and may accept things they don’t want.
3.”My first time was when I was a senior. It was about the graduation season, but I fell in love. It was officially a month together. At that time, my boyfriend’s birthday was not more about the needs that I wanted to experience, but I like him and want to satisfy him. He has had many experiences, and he will know the girl’s first time, after foreplay, slowly insert it, and stop if it hurts. However, it is impressive: because he doesn’t like it The feeling of wearing a condom.
He would tell me that he could control it and pull it out when he wanted to ejaculate, but I was still annoyed by the fact that he took the first emergency contraceptive pill in my life and was very worried. In the next half year, the desire to love and love will increase, but I will still accept his uncondom for him to compromise, so that every time he pulls out in advance, I accept him to ejaculate in my mouth…
Thinking about it now, I wonder why it was like that at the time…haha. “
Yes, how could it be so complacency at that time, even a little humble. When we do sex education, we always emphasize what to prepare first, such as contraceptive knowledge, condoms, and the emotional state of two people.
In fact, sex is also a door for many women. The person who opens the door, the process and feeling of opening the door, may for a period of time affect the subsequent understanding of their own body, sexual desire, orgasm, and sexuality and love. If a woman’s first experience is generally good, then her libido will also quietly rise, allowing them to continue to be curious to explore.
However, no matter how real life constructs our understanding of sex. We can also change our original understanding through learning.
Later, the girl also said to me: “Especially now that I have listened to the monk’s class, and I read the article on contraception yesterday, I think it is very rewarding. Maybe I used to regard him as the person I wanted to marry, and it was because I liked him to please him. He. However, because of the foreign country, I couldn’t meet his needs, and we still didn’t get together in the end. If you have a stable sex life, long-term contraceptives are really a good choice, so you can enjoy love less. A hint of pregnancy worries.”
For a relationship that I thought would be married, I took care of my boyfriend’s excuse that he didn’t like wearing a condom, and endured the torture of fear every month. Pleasure him in a relationship, but in the end we’re not together. It seems that all youth is fed to dogs.
This seems to go back to what the girl said at the beginning: the whole life that we thought at first was lost to reality in the end.
As a straight man of steel, when I saw this, I couldn’t help but feel a little regretful, because looking back, the boy may also want to be responsible and live a lifetime. However, it was more difficult than they thought. My own first time was also my first love, but I wasn’t the one who initiated it because I was slow. I was innocent at the time.
I remember when she called me and asked me: When are you going to open a room?
With a confused look on my face, I pretended to be mature and calm and said, “The day after tomorrow.”
“The day after tomorrow, I’m going back to my hometown,” she said.
“When did you say that?” I asked.
I hung up the phone, thinking about the important day that my life is about to face. I flipped through the out-of-date magazine “Family Doctor” at home looking for useful information, and I didn’t sleep well all night.
The next day, we went to the hotel pretending to be mature adults. From 8:00 am to 5:00 pm, except for lunch, we have been exploring and understanding each other, what is sex?
I remember that we seemed to have tossed for a day. At 3:00 pm, we seemed to find a little doorway. We saw the blood on the sheets. We were going to wash the sheets, but I think it should not be necessary. hours. Finally, she was really going to go home, and I saw her fold the sheets and quilts back to their original state and clean the room seriously.
When I saw this scene, I thought I was responsible for this girl, for a lifetime, and to be a wife kind).
Of course, this belief persisted until she told me to break up.
I remember her saying, “I don’t need you to be responsible, I’m responsible.” She was very determined to break up, so I let it go completely, I felt that I had no responsibility, and sometimes even thought that I was the one who was taken away from “virginity” that one.
Although many years later, we went around in circles, and finally came together. After we got married, we even went to that small hotel specially to relive the taste of youth. But for me at the time, what impressed me the most was her active choice.
In my opinion, the first time for many girls is passive acceptance rather than active choice. The life of passive acceptance and active choice may have different scenery. In the face of fate, do you choose to take the initiative, or will you choose to wait alone?
All the endings have been written, all the tears have set off, youth is destined to be a hasty book.
If we could go back in time, if we knew we were going to start our first life, would we still be brave enough to go on an appointment?