People keep asking me, you have been together for 10 years, is your sex life still normal? I answered bluntly, not much anymore. Some unwilling people who have no eyesight will continue to ask, how often is the frequency? Seems to be trying to get some kind of comfort from me.
When people reach middle age, it is natural that the frequency of sexual life becomes less, and between Mr. A and me, it is no exception. Sexual drive is not as good as it was in youth, and it is also biological.
Sex is of course important, especially when it comes to love. Sex is the most primitive and direct expression. So, sex is visible proof of love.
Many people say that love begins after going to bed. I understand because we too have come from a young age. When I met Mr. A, he was only 22 years old, and a large part of our mutual admiration and affection was due to the harmony of sex. Therefore, we also started to know each other deeply from the bed.
We saw the aurora in the backyard
When two people have nothing to maintain a relationship, no children, no marriage, or even no light, all that is left is sex. When I was young, it felt like it was inexhaustible and inexhaustible.
However, no matter how high the quality of sex life is and how satisfied both parties are, it will not necessarily turn into love. Many so-called “solid guns” are like this. Sex is a beautiful flower in a vase that blooms day and night and then suddenly withers one day. Sexual attraction, which comes and goes quickly, is sometimes short-lived as if it never existed.
Sex as the beginning of a relationship is okay, but as the only sustainment, it’s too short-lived and too thin. No matter how beautiful the flowers are, there will be a day when you get tired of seeing them.
Some people believe that “the feelings of adults will eventually become family affection or no affection, and there will be no third way.” It seems that the ups and downs of the love road have the answer. Once sex becomes the only criterion for measuring love, then feelings can only spin in a dead end. It’s not so much a rough road in love, but a rough road in sex.
For most people, if sex is a necessity, then love is a luxury. In gay circles, because of the hardships brought about by social pressure, under the hood, sex brings excitement and comfort. People who are obsessed with perfect love will be frightened by the chaos in the circle, and finally, they can’t believe in love.
Of course, love has something to do with face, muscles, length and thickness, which are determined by hormones. But you must know that there are too many beautiful faces in this world, and young bodies are emerging in an endless stream. If you pursue longer, thicker, and more stone like the pursuit of the Olympic spirit, it will be like a black blind man breaking corn, and you will worry about gains and losses. Stumbled all the way.
There is a saying, “You have never given birth to anyone, so what do you use to question life?” Similarly, you have never loved anyone, so what do you use to question love? The threshold of love is not high or low, but it is very important to take the first step. If you are reluctant to take this step because you are afraid, why do you swear to question it?
First sex, then love, and then family, this is the whole process of seemingly perfect love. But in fact, every step needs to overcome many difficulties and practical problems, and sex is not the most important problem. In this process, if there is a slight thought of giving up, it will be unsustainable.
Relying on the urge to go to bed, two people want to be together, and most love starts like this. Then, don’t just stop at muscles and organs, work towards a goal together, go towards each other and get better for it.
Mr. A and I have, of course, had many problems, both from our families and between us. But one principle is that no matter what the situation is, we have never uttered the word “break up”. You know, its lethality is enough once.
Over time, we have made each other a habit, an integral part of life. We have developed a common tacit understanding in the long adaptation to each other. Equal and mutually dependent status in the family. We have common affiliation and common interests. These are the families that belong only to us, and that we can protect together.
Sex is of course very important, but when people reach middle age, in the complex evaluation system of love, sex is no longer the only indicator. And in this family that we are willing to pay for and stick to, it is only one of many reference factors, not the whole of love life.