To fall in love

There are some people who are always complaining about how the other party is not good; there are some people who always feel the good things about the other party in their hearts. What is the meaning behind these two completely different attitudes?

Love down-to-earth People who are always complaining about the bad person, love a picture in their heart, not the real person in front of them. As we grow up, we always hear many concepts of “what an ideal object should be”, including appearance, language, behavior, attitude, reaction to things, mentality, personality, interests, habits, and expectations for life Wait. After accumulating, we have a picture in our hearts: a picture of “Snow White” in a man’s heart, and a picture of “Prince Charming” in a woman’s heart. All in all, it’s about being perfect. (This “perfection” is often not available in reality, and even if there is, it may not help to build a successful and happy family and life. For example, “Whenever I am unhappy, he will immediately put down his hand. come and comfort me”, or “she always follows me so meekly by my side and listens to everything”. All of these are just unrealistic fantasies.)

Then, both men and women searched everywhere based on their inner photos, and finally found someone who looked like the inner photos, gave him/her their hearts, and finally got married. After a lot of hard work, I found an object that matches the photo, and I thought that I would have a happy life in the future. But soon, he/she discovered that the benefits that he/she had seen and the other party promised did not appear, while the shortcomings that he/she didn’t pay attention to appeared. He/she starts to complain about the other party, always asking the other party to change. In the stage of love, both parties will try their best to please each other and cater to each other’s wishes, so that the other party is more likely to have illusions.

The inner photo will not change, but the color will fade or turn yellow over time. But people are always changing, and every minute will be different. Compared with the photo, there are more and more changes, and the gap is getting bigger and bigger, and there are more and more complaints.

The other kind of person always feels the good things about the other person in their hearts, or at the beginning, they also held the photo to find them. But when the relationship began to develop, they turned their attention from the photo to each other. They begin to notice the things that the other person already has that they didn’t pay attention to that made them feel good, and they also find in the other person something that the other person has that is better than a photo, and more meaningful to themselves. In this way, they shift the importance of photos to each other in a long way.

If you have this kind of mentality, even an arranged marriage can cultivate loving feelings; otherwise, even some childhood sweetheart marriages will fail. Always holding that photo to find a partner, it is easy to lose touch with reality, and the result is repeated disappointment. After each time, the enthusiasm in my heart becomes less and less, and maybe I will spend my old age alone, or live powerless in a life. in a disappointed marriage.

So, the inner photo may be used as a standard when you start looking for a partner, but you must know how to let it go, especially when you have met a person who makes you satisfied and feels good. At this time, maybe you should put the photo aside, and think calmly and seriously based on the person’s own conditions (rather than how much it fits the photo): whether those conditions can cooperate with you for a long time and create a successful and happy together. Life.

Look at the inner photo from another angle, the person inside is a perfect object, ask yourself: If you are not perfect, what qualifications do you have to ask for a perfect object? Also, the perfect object is often “good-looking or not delicious” “. There is a very apt saying in Guangdong: “It’s hard to meet each other, but it’s hard to live together”. This is a very true description. Be with a perfect person, and soon you either feel unworthy of him or her, or he/she gets impatient with you.

Think about the few questions you started with. Do you think there is something wrong with your rights in love? Love requires seeking common ground while reserving differences. From now on, carefully examine your love and make appropriate self-adjustments to stabilize and enhance your feelings!

After understanding the right of love, you need to seek common ground while reserving differences, maintain smooth communication, understand each other’s needs and feelings in time, make appropriate self-adjustments to run in your feelings, and reach a tacit understanding is just around the corner. Harmony in love is not just a desire!

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