About love, you may have heard the philosophical metaphor of the Platonists: In the beginning, there are men, women and bisexuals, each individual has two faces, four arms, four legs, and two connected bodies, one day, they Split into two people, and since then, each half has struggled to find a complementary half.
So there is such a saying, we can only become complete when we find the half of life destined to harvest beautiful love. But there is a kind of paradox implied here, that is, when you think that you can only be complete if you are loved by others, you will crave the love of others, and the more you crave, the more you will be in a state of lack of love. Looking for love in this state, you may not find it at all in the end. The reason is very simple. In fact, just like the bank will not lend to people who are in debt, true love will not come to those who lack love. This principle may be taken for granted and clear from the beginning to those who have been surrounded by love or have a strong ego since childhood. But for many reasons, it took me more than twenty years to wake up.
In the past, my sense of self-worth mainly depended on the acceptance of me by others, my career, and my relationship. Among them, the acceptance of others accounted for a small part, and the relationship accounted for the majority. Take love, for example. The people I’ve dated in the past are excellent, at least in my eyes, they’re erudite, personable, funny, and charming, and I’m in love with them. According to the logic of my previous self-definition, interacting with them should make me feel like a spring breeze and bursting with confidence, right?
But it didn’t. I sometimes felt like sitting on pins and needles, I humbled myself to the point of dust, and even made pessimistic predictions about the future direction of the relationship. For example, when my ex-boyfriend swore that there was a 50% chance that we would enter the palace of marriage, I said hesitantly. It should be only 1%, not because I don’t like him enough, but because I don’t believe he will love me enough to give me a lifetime commitment. I don’t know if it was influenced by psychological hints, but we still said goodbye in tears.
In the early days of the breakup, I was terrible, I didn’t think about eating and drinking, I couldn’t sleep all night, and the pain spread endlessly like the night, eroding me. wind. My eyes stared at the ceiling until dawn, staring at one place for a long time, my eyes were too dry to even shed tears. This walking dead state continued for months.
I don’t believe that time heals everything, but fortunately, it can make us feel more numb to the pain in our memory. To make the numbness even more violent, I decided to travel to Israel and Jordan. There, I met some interesting souls. Girl A traveled all the way from the United States to Jordan to learn Arabic and was determined to become an expert on Middle East issues. Boy B loves diving. After founding a construction company, he began to run around the world in search of diving holy places. Girl C teaches Dutch to refugees in a public welfare school, but she goes to Petra, Jordan every year, so she creates a family-like bond with the residents of the town, eats and lives with them, and sometimes even sleeps in a cave to experience with the most authentic traditional culture.