The art of harmony between middle-aged and elderly couples

Ever since Nu Wa created people out of mud, there have been men and women in the world. Half a man is a woman, and half a woman is a man. A world without men or women is an incomplete half sphere. How do the two hemispheres roll forward happily in the family? It is especially important to learn the art of being a couple.

Mutual appreciation

The true charm of love lies in finding mutual pleasure. Appreciation is a flower, and love is a fruit. Many middle-aged and elderly people think that they are old and married and do not have the passion of young people. In fact, don’t be ashamed to express your love to your loved ones, and don’t be stingy with your praise. On appropriate occasions, with appropriate expressions, tell each other: “I love you!” Appreciating each other is a kind of recognition, affirmation and encouragement to each other. It is the common psychological need of both parties, and it is also one of the secrets to deal with the relationship between husband and wife well. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Hate can also be vented out of complaints. The other party knows where you are dissatisfied with him (her), and the indifference and cold war stasis in the heart is even more terrifying. Over time, it is not only harmful to physical and mental health, but also not conducive to family harmony. So couples should learn to communicate, understand and appreciate each other. Only in this way can we go from loving each other when we are young, to loving each other in middle age, and finally to companionship in old age.

Independent personality

A famous person once said when talking about marriage: “There should be a gap in unity.” Marriage is one-to-one freedom and one-to-one democracy. Don’t be paranoid that “you are mine”, that will turn your love nest into a prison where you are imprisoning each other, and the people in it will probably want to “break out”. An old French song sings: “Love is the child of liberty, never after domination.” If it’s not a matter of principle, it should be made small and small. Instead of trying to change each other, each should adjust themselves to a moderate space, not only to stay together, but also to allow each other to have space to be alone. In the soil of marriage, let the two trees of individuality grow freely, and the fruits of happiness can naturally be harvested.

Respect each other

“If you want others to treat you, you must treat others.” If you want a stable marriage, the most important thing is to learn to respect. Only by knowing how to respect each other can you gain respect from each other. In addition, there are two foundations for a family: money and love are indispensable. To put it in layman’s terms: if there is love, there is also bread. To put it more elegantly: the economic base determines the superstructure. Leaving money will at least affect love, but in family life, money should not be taken too seriously. If you always use the “planned economy” to manage each other, so that the other party does not have a certain degree of economic autonomy, then things will inevitably reverse. At this time, you may really realize that money is dead after all, talents are alive, and only talents are the pillars of emotional buildings.

Cherish love

“It takes a thousand times of looking back in your life to exchange for the passing of this life.” It’s not too soon or too late in the vast crowd, you meet your other half, how much fate does it take! There is no reason why we should not cherish this fate, and there is no reason to treat our marriage as frequently as watching TV. Women often sigh about a man’s derailment. In fact, since ancient times, there have been both Ximen Qing, who is provocative, and Pan Jinlian, who is full of red apricots. It is not surprising! It is easy for a man to like a woman, but it is not easy to love a woman deeply. A wife should not rigidly “manage” her husband, but use her own wisdom and connotation to attract her husband. There is a saying that is very funny: women go out without spending money; men go out without paying attention. We don’t advocate extramarital affairs, but this sentence also tells the difference between men and women. If you don’t encounter an irreversible dead marriage, you must do your best to remedy it. Since you are holding hands in this life, don’t give up lightly! Now whoever leaves can live, but to know who has who will be happier. A senior stock speculator once said frankly: Divorce is the biggest loss of wealth (both material and spiritual). So please cherish your he (she) it! Only by snuggling up, caring for each other, trusting each other, and concentrating on one another’s life is the most perfect life.

Learn to give

Most people regard love as “being loved”, not “loving”, not actively learning how to love each other, how to care for each other’s life and spiritual needs. Love should be a pure thing, not mixed with any selfish thoughts and utilitarianism. Love is a sharing, not an infatuation, and love means caring, responsibility, respect, and giving. Love needs to be kept fresh from time to time, and achieving “you have me, I have you” is the best state of marriage. Two people who have known each other for a year and still hold hands are passion; two people who have known each other for five years and still hold hands are affection; two people who have known each other for fifteen years and still hold hands are family affection; two people who have known each other for twenty years and still hold hands are love. Love without wind and rain, gods and horses are floating clouds! When there is both family and love between husband and wife, the marriage can be called marriage and it will be stable.

Tolerance Habits

The highest state of love is tolerance. Marriage means not only the mutual accommodation of husbands and wives, but also the mutual compromise between ideals and reality. Home is a place for reasoning, not a place for reasoning. Marriage is not 1+1=2, but 0.5+0.5=1. That is, the two cut off half of their own personalities and shortcomings, and then make it together to be complete. A philosopher said: “Open your eyes before marriage, and close one eye after marriage.” The highest state of love is also a habit. When you get used to the habits of a person’s life, you really fall in love with him. A woman is accustomed to a man’s snoring, from incompatibility to accustomed to being unable to sleep without his snoring, this is love; a man is accustomed to a woman’s willfulness, coquetry, and even making trouble, this is love; a man will To change and accommodate for another person is love. Love as much as you can accommodate your lover. Husbands and wives should never try to change each other, but should adapt to each other. Some people say: marriage is like shoes, only you know whether it is suitable or not. However, new shoes that have just been worn for a while are often beaten. Only after the feet and shoes are slowly worn for a period of time, they will gradually become comfortable to wear. The same is true of marriage. It needs to tinker with each other to adapt to each other. It is impossible for everyone to be perfect. Marriage is to adapt to the habit. If you still like this person today, then there must be something about him or her that attracts you and makes you fall in love. If you love someone deeply, be tolerant of his (her) small mistakes. Only in the long years can love penetrate into your heart bit by bit and melt into your blood, so that it will last forever!

Learn to operate

Two people have been together for a long time, like the left hand touching the right hand, even if there is no longer the feeling of electric shock like first love, but if you choose to give up the time together for so many years, it takes a lot of courage. Maybe at some point in your life, your so-called confidante will appear in a trance, but after all, it is a passer-by. The phrase “hold the hand of the son, grow old together with the son” was originally an oath, then it was a responsibility, and then it was a habit.

“Happy families are all the same, but unfortunate families are unfortunate in their own way.” I want to say that happy families are managed with heart, marriage is a long process, and the flower of love needs to be watered and nourished with heart , rather than simply allowing it to fend for itself.

Calling a wife is easy, and calling a wife is not difficult, but calling an old lady requires a lifetime commitment! Whether it’s a discordant personality or an extramarital affair… Many marriages fail because of two reasons: one is the lack of foundation and understanding before marriage, and the other is that they will not be able to manage their business after marriage.

Enterprises will be profitable, and families will be harmonious!

When talking about the “secret of marriage preservation”, Ieoh Ming Pei said: “From love to marriage, it is a gradual process from elegant to vulgar, from spiritual to physical, from quantitative to qualitative change. When you are in love, you are connected with each other, but after marriage, it is a gradual process. Flesh and blood are connected. When you are in love, it is love at first sight, and this ‘love’ is passion; after marriage, it is a love that develops over time, and this ‘love’ is family love. After passion subsides, only family affection can be firmly maintained. Husbands and wives must live like chopsticks in China. One is to cherish each other, and no one can leave the other; forever.”

The highest state of love is not eternal passion, but it can stand the baptism of the passing years and the baptism of the years. After the passion fades away, they can still care about each other, support each other, and stay together until the gray-haired one. Emotions!

In one’s life, the greatest success is the success of marriage; the greatest happiness is the happiness of the family; the most important communication is the communication between husband and wife; the most important understanding is the understanding between husband and wife; the most valuable The most tolerant tolerance is the tolerance between husband and wife; the most effective tolerance is the tolerance between husband and wife; the most unignorable concern is the concern between husband and wife; the happiest hand is the hand that never gives up between husband and wife.

Hold your lover’s hand well and grow old together.


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