Sex, am I ready? Part 1

Starting a sexual relationship is an important decision that requires careful consideration.
What does “sex” mean to someone who is trying sex for the first time? Most people think it’s vaginal sex, but others think it also includes oral sex and anal sex. Our definition of “sex (intercourse)” is much broader.

How can I tell if I'm ready?

To know if you’re ready for sex, there are a number of important questions to consider, including:
· Your personal values ​​and goals
· How you feel and feel about the emotional and physical risks you can take
· Is this something you really want to do, or is it something your boyfriend or girlfriend prompted you to do
· What kind of relationship do you intend to have with this sexual partner

Why should I consider my personal values ​​and goals?

Your personal values ​​and goals will guide you in figuring out what sex means to you. When making decisions about sex, answering the following questions can help you understand your values:
In relation to sexual activity,
· What was your family’s education like?
· What are your moral or religious beliefs?
· Do you want to have a stable relationship before having sex?

After thinking about the above questions, if you come to the conclusion that starting sex can be consistent with the above personal values ​​and goals without conflict, then you can say that the first step is ready.

What risk can I take?

Sharing sex with your partner is an important way to demonstrate your intimacy. But sex poses two huge risks to your health – STDs and unwanted pregnancy. At the same time, sex also brings emotional tests. Please answer the following questions to understand what risks you will face:
· Do I know how to prevent STD transmission?
· Do I know how to prevent pregnancy?
· Do I have reliable birth control and know how to use it?
· Do I know when and how to use a condom (even if I already use another form of birth control)?
· Do I know what to do in the event of an STD infection or an unwanted pregnancy?
· Does my partner know this too?
· Will I go to the hospital for an STD test before having sex with a new partner?
· Have I discussed any of these issues with my partner?
· Am I happy with my body? Am I confident enough to let my partner see me naked?

If I find out in the future that this decision to have sex was a serious mistake, will I be able to deal with the emotional pain that comes with it?

In case it turns out in the future that this decision to start sex was a serious mistake, will the partner be able to deal with the emotional pain that comes with it?

If both you and your partner are willing and able to prevent, face, and deal with possible harm, both physical and emotional, then you are ready for the second step of sex.

To learn more about STDs, read Sexually Transmitted Diseases. To learn more about contraception, read Contraception. To learn the basics about condoms, read Contraception: Condoms. For tips on how to use condoms, read Using Condoms: Guidelines and Tips. To learn how to be tested for STDs, read STD Testing. If you’re dissatisfied with your body, read Body Image.

Have most of my peers tried sex?

You may feel as if your peers have already tried sex, so it’s time for you to do it too. In fact, although accurate data is not available, about 15% of young people in China before the age of 20 have tried vaginal intercourse. In other words, if you’re under 20 and haven’t tried vaginal sex, you’re not special. In fact, you belong to the majority.
If you plan to have sex, do you think any of the following reasons apply to you?
· I just want to “get this done”?
· I feel like I am the only virgin/virgin left among my friends.
· My friends pressure me to try sex.
· It would be cool for me to try.
· If I don’t have sex with my partner, he/she will break up with me.
· Hope that sex will solve our current relationship problems.
· Hope that sex will make our relationship stronger.
· I think love and sex are the same thing.
· Sex scenes in TV shows and movies look great.
· I feel bored.
· If I had tried sex, I would have felt more mature.
· I want to take revenge on my parents.
If some of the reasons above make sense to you, you’re not ready for sex.

What can sex not bring?

Having sex does not necessarily:
· Make your relationship last longer or bring you closer
· Make you feel shocked
· Feels great the first time
· Increase your status or importance in the eyes of friends or lovers
· Makes you appear more “adult”, like a “real” man, or a “real” woman

If you think sex can do the above, then you are not ready for sex. Am I ready to articulate my needs?

Before having sex, it’s important to let your partner know what you want—and what you don’t want. It’s not easy. Perhaps, you feel that sex should be a “natural” thing. But in reality, you should be explicit about what you want – it’s impossible for a lover to telepathically feel what you’re thinking. Consider these: Can you talk to your partner about your troubles? Are you able to listen to your partner and share your feelings in a respectful way? If you can’t talk openly about sex with your partner, you’re not ready to start having sex.

Do any of the following apply to your situation?

· It’s embarrassing for me to talk to my partner about safe sex or birth control.
· Talking about it with your partner after drinking or taking drugs makes it easier to talk.
· I don’t know how to say “no” to my partner.
· Saying “no” to your partner can hurt his/her feelings.
· I’m afraid to tell my partner what kind of sex I like, what kind of sex I don’t like or don’t want.
If you fit one or more of these conditions, you’re not ready for sex.
It is always best to use a confident communication style when you express your request. To find out if you are confident enough in the way you communicate, read The Ways of Interpersonal Communication.

What do I want from our relationship?

People who care about each other and trust each other will become more and more intimate. However, sex is only one aspect of the whole relationship. It’s just one form of intimacy.
So what about the rest of your relationship?
· Do you treat each other as equals?
· Do you trust each other?
· Are you honest with each other?
· Do you respect each other’s needs and feelings?
· Do you care about each other?
· Do you share common interests and values?
· Did you have fun together?
· Do you all take responsibility for your actions?
· Have you had other acts of physical intimacy – such as kissing and making out?
· Do you both want to have sex right now?
If all of the above are already present in your relationship, then you are ready for sex.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Shopping Cart