BDSM describes some patterns of sexual behavior and belongs to the sexual subculture. It covers three major concepts:
B/D: Bondage & Discipline
D/S: Dominance & Submission – Spiritual
S/M: Sadism & Masochism – Physiological
In the 20th century, the three Jews who changed the world were Marx, Einstein, and Freud. Freud attacked the social system’s repression of sexuality and moral constraints, he pointed out: too much experience and facts show that social restrictions on sexual behavior will greatly increase a race’s sense of survival anxiety and fear of death.
This theory is absorbed and accepted by modern society, and gives the soil for the growth of BDSM culture. In fact, BDSM expresses “abnormal” sexual desires under specific constraints (SSF, which will be explained later).
Are BDSM people not only normal, but also healthier?
Recent research has shown that BDSM as a sexual subculture is not only a normal manifestation, it is also psychologically healthier than non-BDSM people.
In 2006, Pamela Connolly found that compared with BDSM enthusiasts and non-addicts, BDSM people were less likely to experience psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and delusions.
In 2013, Andreas Wismeijer’s team compared 902 BDSM enthusiasts with 434 non-BDSM enthusiasts and found that BDSM enthusiasts were less neurotic, less sensitive to “rejection”, and more personal. Outgoing, doing things more conscientiously.
They did a mental health ranking, and the results were surprising:
Dominators > Subjugators > Non-BDSM Lovers
Unexpectedly, the level of mental health of BDSM lovers is higher than that of others. Within the scope of BDSM, the mental health of dominators is better than that of surrenderers.
The Exit of Humanity: Domination in Life, Surrender in Private Space
Do you have the impression that most dominators/abuses are males who dominate in their lives, while submissives/masochists are passive and vulnerable women? It can only be said that you watched too many films and were misled.
In fact, the more dominant you are in your life, the more you want to release your pressure in private space.
Dominatrix, female tune teacher, is a very special profession. She needs strong mental control and skilled skills to make a man submit to her, and there is not necessarily a “sexual behavior” in the entire game of domination. Most Dominatrix reports that their clients are corporate CEOs, executives, lawyers, successful businessmen, etc. (see the plot of the American TV series Billions).
Just imagine, if you are a Fortune 500 CEO, you are faced with documents involving hundreds of millions of transactions every day, you must ensure that your team of dozens or hundreds of people operates normally, and you must pay attention to stock market dynamics every minute and every second. Countless pairs of eyes are waiting for you to make a decision… Will you be eager to approach a room, after closing the door, you can completely unload all the responsibilities and powers, completely let a trusted person dominate you, and enjoy the complete The luxury of not having to control yourself, not to make decisions, not to be responsible?
In this sense, BDSM is an outlet for humanity. If a person is always in the state of “dominant”, because the pressure is too large and cannot be released, psychological problems will easily occur, and the same is true for “submissive”. Therefore, the roles in your life and the roles you really want to play in your private space are often the opposite, depending on whether you are willing to admit it or not.
BDSM may become a psychotherapy
Anthropologist Danielle Lindemann found that many dominatrix (female tune-up teachers) call themselves “therapists,” so she interviewed 66 female tune-up teachers, integrated their work, and found that BDSM is feasible as a psychotherapy.
Now, many institutions around the world are studying how to develop BDSM into a more mature treatment. Among them, Pandora’s Project studies how BDSM can be used to treat sexual assault victims.
This research sounds contradictory, so why use this weirder way to provoke former victims? But in fact, if implemented properly, BDSM can help the victim’s psychological reconstruction.
There is a fundamental principle in BDSM culture called SSC, which stands for “safe, sane and consensual”. All BDSM not based on SSC principles is a crime! Important things should be marked with an exclamation point.
If implemented properly, it is easier for victims to build trust with others, vent pent-up anger, and regain acceptance and control of their own bodies in this safe environment.
The essence of BDSM
Sometimes the essence of things is the opposite of appearances. In the game of BDSM, the dominator who seems to be in power is not the real game controller, and the ultimate Boss of the game is actually the submissive.
Since BDSM is dangerous, the two people participating in the game must set a “safe word” in advance. When the submissive cannot accept the behavior of the dominant, Ta can say the “safe word” at any time, so that the game can be paused or completely stopped. . Therefore, the power and rhythm of life and death in this game are actually completely in the hands of the submissive.
As the Dominator, you have to pay a strong mental force to control the field, and you also need to pay a lot of physical labor (because the submissive will be tied or blindfolded most of the time), and the power to call “card” at any time is in the hands of the submissive. superior. It seems that you are playing a scene of whipping a slave, only to find out that the slave turns out to be the director with a “click”.
In my opinion, the essence of BDSM is between “freeing oneself” and “role-playing”. With the door closed, a high-ranking CEO can kneel over a sex worker, and a weak girl can hold a whip. At that moment, man achieves a brief “self-integrity”. The biggest meaning of BDSM may not be related to sex, but to “know yourself”. BDSM is to sex what extreme sports are to physical exercise. You can say that skydiving fans are crazy, but you can’t say that they are perverted. They are exploring their hearts in a way that the public does not understand.
One of the most famous SM lovers in history should be the great French philosopher Foucault. He never shy away from mentioning his love for SM and translates his SM experience into a reflection on “discourse and power”, his philosophy challenges a series of marginal issues in human history: prison, sexuality, madness, punishment , his postmodernist ideas have had a profound impact on linguistics, political science, feminist theory and postcolonialism.
Does the game BDSM reveal the most authentic self, or does it provide an opportunity for people to play the role that they most desire to be? Zhuang Shengxiao dreamed of butterflies, how do people know the truth? Do people have the ability to know that they are dreaming?