You look through his life history, follow his footsteps, feel his joys, sorrows and sorrows, and feel happy for his happiness and melancholy because of his depression.
You think this is love.
You read his words, admired his talent, liked listening to his words and laughter, liked the feeling of being close to him, and even rejoiced that he was willing to talk to you.
You think this is love.
You say to yourself that you are willing to be his bride, that you are willing to join hands with him for a hundred years, that you are willing to build a warm home for him, so that he will no longer wander, and that you are willing to have children for him to share a family with.
You think this is love.
It is undeniable that you are indeed emotionally attracted to him.
It’s just that one day, when he left you, at the beginning, you had longing, loss, and even melancholy and pain. However, in the following days, you forget quickly. Another scenery breaks into your field of vision, replacing all the previous thoughts, and you feel that by contrast, you love the scenery in front of you more.
You admire this person in front of you, like this person in front of you, and often fantasize about marrying this person. It was astonishingly similar to the previous him.
At this time, I occasionally think of him before, you just smile, laugh at your childishness and naivety, you say, that’s not love, it’s just a web of love that you weave for yourself, you like to fish for love, it’s your own feelings and his own flesh and blood.
But, how can you grasp the feeling in front of you, that it is really love?
Perhaps, what you like is only the halo on his head, and what you like is the feeling of defeating those admirers around him.
Because of your youth, you can’t stand loneliness; because of your youth, you are competitive; because of your youth, you love to conquer. You witness your charm by conquering men; conquering men also brings you the joy of being a woman. As someone said, what you love is not the person himself, but the feeling of being in love. You need to have a taste of love, the breath of love, and the excitement of love, which fills your young life process and consumes your excess energy. Therefore, you are constantly creating objects of love, creating feelings of love, you love the feeling of loving him, the taste of missing him, the excitement of writing love letters for him, and at the same time you love being left out by him, being ignored by him The sourness of his rough lessons, the love of the vinegar smell that comes from the fact that he likes so many women and so many women like him. You indulge in the joy of this love, unable to extricate yourself.
This is actually an illusion of love.
The illusion of love makes you ignore one thing, the most realistic one, that is to stay true to him for a lifetime, in those ordinary years, the trivialities of firewood, rice, oil and salt; when the wind, frost, snow and rain come, the sword, light and sword shadow that life has to endure. For these, you have not thought about it, maybe you have thought about it, but you just underestimate that it is very simple.
In your opinion, love is enough.
However, having love is definitely not enough. A romantic relationship on paper is tantamount to drawing cakes to satisfy one’s hunger; a relationship that is only immersed in sweet words cannot stand the test of time and frost.
The illusion of love is a show of love. At some point, it will cut youth, smash your beautiful ideals, and then smear the gray color in the sky of your life, so as to affect your future values ​​of love and life. . What’s more, you may turn this illusion into a sharp blade, leaving a deep wound on the person you think you love. Yes, the illusion of love often turns into resentment when your love doesn’t get the response you desire, and then at a certain time, the person you think you love will become the object of your curse. Those who cannot become lovers become enemies, and they are all deformed products under the illusion of love.
Love comes from a feeling, this feeling is a bit like a mirage, beauty is beautiful, but it is too illusory. Yes, talking about love is easy, writing a love letter is not hard, and making a verbal promise of love is just a bad check. Maybe what you are good at is actually only the skills of love. What you think you are mature is only to write love into words, compose music, and then sing very loudly. However, did you know that the process of love is a long journey, apart from the love and affection, in addition to the kisses and caresses on the skin, there are also obligations and responsibilities, those things do not seem romantic at all, even heavy , but it requires your lifelong energy; do you know that the most real and moving love letter is not written on paper, not sung in your mouth, but printed in the hard work of the family you and him combine every day. Therefore, true love begins when you form a family. Everything at the beginning is just a prelude to love, and the thick and wonderful content will be covered in later chapters.
Then, when you think you are in love, you might as well keep yourself away temporarily, extinguish the fire of love that rises in your heart artificially, and then re-look at the object you think you love to see if you have enough understanding of him The ability, at least is not willing to work hard to understand him, understand him, and always appreciate him. Then, you need to put all his advantages aside, only look at his shortcomings, and magnify his shortcomings as much as possible, and then ask yourself, can you tolerate it? In the years to come, will you, because of his shortcomings, not only remain unchanged, but instead expand and leave easily? Are you willing to love him wholeheartedly and faithfully, regardless of wealth, disease, bad environment, or failure or failure in life, and stay close to him forever in the journey of life, until you grow old together?