Under normal circumstances, we all think that it is better to send things that the other party needs, or that it is better to send things that have a very close relationship with the other party (do what they like and send what they need), which is more conducive to the maintenance and development of the relationship. So is this really the case?
The researchers specifically examined the impact of gift symbolism (primarily oneself or one another) on relationship intimacy.
This study first used a questionnaire to examine people’s usual gift-giving preferences and Valentine’s Day gift-giving tendency. The result found that most people choose to “follow what they like” when giving gifts, that is to say, they will choose what the other person likes or have a close relationship with each other. At the same time, if someone else gives them a gift (as a gift recipient), they are also more inclined to want to receive a gift that is related to them (such as something they really need but don’t have).
Later, researchers have examined the impact of the symbolic attributes of gifts (gift giver or receiver) on relationship intimacy from different aspects and perspectives.
The overall results found that, not what we thought, gifts that were needed or closely related to the other party were more likely to promote relationship development. On the contrary, giving gifts that have a greater relationship with oneself, that is, with the giver, which symbolizes the gift giver himself, has played a greater role in promoting the relationship between the two parties.
Does this result surprise you? In real life, maybe what we think is exactly the same as the survey results of this study. Giving gifts by ourselves is to give something that the other party needs and is closely related to the other party. We will call this gift-giving method “special you”. Moreover, if you receive it as a gift, you also want to receive what you need, or a gift that is more related to you (for example, the other party drew a cartoon of you and gave it to you).
However, although these “special you” gifts are very suitable and very touching to receive such gifts, their impact on relationship intimacy is not as important as “special love”. Here, the so-called “special love” refers to those things that are closely related to the gift giver, such as a poem or a character written by himself.
Perhaps the gift of “special you” brings people a kind of short-term joy and emotion, while the gift of “special love” brings people a long-term feeling of care and concern. The former is more social, the latter is more private; the former is more utilitarian, the latter is more affectionate.
Therefore, if you love her, in addition to romantic roses (more related to the other party), you need your tender and caring eyes more, you don’t say anything, and your emotional eyes pass over her cheeks and spread a piece in the sun The trembling of love.
In life, people will receive many gifts and give many gifts. However, it may not be too much to really remember. Gifts have nothing to do with money.
And what we can do is to find a person who can make us have a happy day, that person can be yourself, or the person who loves you and you love.