1. The Pygmalion Effect - A good lover is exaggerated
Compared with constantly suppressing and blaming, positive affirmation of the other party’s performance often achieves unexpected results.
We all expect positive comments from our hearts, so when we receive positive comments, we can’t help but want to maintain that, so we tend to express ourselves more positively.
In love, the method of using the Pygmalion effect is called “fugue”: give the other person a positive and tall personality, and constantly strengthen this understanding, that person will be willing to maintain such a person in your heart. to do things for you.
2. Zeigarnik memory effect - the former degree that can't be put down
Many people can’t let go of their exes and forget their first love, not because that relationship is really as good as they imagined, but simply because there is no explanation for that kind of relationship, and in their hearts this relationship is still “unfruitful” state.
Because your relationship ended without a hitch, because although you always wanted to save the other party, you didn’t really take any action, so this matter has never ended in your heart, the kind of “if…” The idea of will torment you again and again, so that you can never get out of the shadow of that relationship.
If that person is important enough to you, you must try to save it at least once:
You don’t have to be successful in restoring it, even if it fails, you really can’t go back to the past, and you can cut off your thoughts and die in the future, otherwise you will always be tortured like this.
3. Murphy's Law of Love - The more you are afraid of losing, the more likely it will happen
Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong has a high chance of going wrong, the more fearful things are, the more likely they will happen, and the more fearful things are, the more likely they will happen.
In love, many people keep worrying about whether the other party likes them, how much they like them, whether they will leave themselves, whether they will like others, and worry that they are not attractive enough.
When you are too afraid of the same thing, in order to avoid that result, your behavior will definitely take the opposite direction. For example, if you are too afraid of being abandoned, you must repeatedly confirm whether you have the possibility of being abandoned. In this process of repeated verification in, torturing myself and torturing others.
The more you love him, the more difficult it will be to control yourself and the easier it will lead to performance loss.
And when you have a normal heart and play normally, your personal charm will be displayed to the fullest, and it will be easier to gain the favor of the other party.
4. The Broken Window Effect - cheating and lying
The broken window effect is originally a theory of criminology, which means that if many situations are left unchecked, it is easy to develop worse results.
And in love, it’s actually very common:
If your partner cheated, he cried and begged you for forgiveness, saying over and over again that he would never do it again. You forgave it because of your soft heart, but soon after you found out that the other party stole the forbidden fruit; you have never lied in love before, but since you had to tell the first lie once, you found that the number of times you lied was only It will increase and not stop;
Once a lot of things have started, it is not difficult to do it again. Many things, only 0 and countless times.
5. The Hawthorne Effect - Change for the Lover
The Hawthorne effect was proposed by Harvard psychologist Mayo, which refers to the effect of deliberately changing some behaviors or verbal expressions when people realize that they are being watched or observed.
To give the simplest example, in places where there are no girls, boys are usually sloppy and behave casually, but once there are girls in this place, they will pay attention to their appearance, because they feel that they will be noticed by the opposite sex, so they will pay special attention to their own. words and deeds.
Put it in the relationship between the two sexes, if used properly, it can improve the relationship between couples and make the other party your ideal lover.
For example, if you often praise your partner, pay attention to his needs, and give him encouragement and confidence, he will hope to work hard to perform well, get more recognition from you, treat you better, and make you more and more satisfied.
6. The Law of Diminishing Happiness - You're Actually Happy
It refers to the satisfaction that people get from an item in a specific situation, and it will decrease as the item increases. It is under the action of this law that the longer you love each other and the deeper you get along, the more deficient and dissatisfied the psychological expectations of the other half will be. It is not difficult to understand why there is the phenomenon of the “seven-year itch”.
Many times when you feel unhappy, it is not necessarily that you are really unhappy, but on the contrary, it is precisely because you are always happy that the “law of diminishing happiness” gradually reduces your perception of happiness. Cherish the present. Happy!
7. The effect of diminishing marginal utility - love a person must have a limit and a bottom line
The effect of diminishing marginal utility means that when a stimulus is given from the outside, people’s nerves will feel satisfied, and as the same stimulus is repeated, the degree of excitement will decrease. To give an example in life, give a hungry person half a piece of bread, he will be very satisfied, but when you keep giving him bread and he is full, his pleasure will be reduced, on the contrary It can also cause discomfort and boredom.
The same is true in intimate relationships. When you love your partner without restraint and the bottom line, he will gradually become numb and insensitive from the beginning of cherishing, and he will not even understand your intentions at all.