In a relationship, be proactive about your feelings and needs

Since I tried to communicate with my boyfriend more about this. I started getting addicted to it.

Although there are times when small emotions are still not expressed immediately, we will still talk calmly about each other’s feelings and opinions after the event.

From him, I finally got to know myself better, and there are many little things that I didn’t care about before, and now they are gradually emerging. For example, if the used condiment bottle is not covered, it will not return to its place. I have no patience for chopping vegetables and cooking, and many things are half done. In the past, I always felt that these trivial things in life were laborious and laborious, and I almost got it. But in fact, these details of life are very important.

Today he asked me: Are you living your life seriously?

“How do you define seriousness? If I want to talk about these transactional things, I may be more casual and comfortable with myself, but I may spend more time and energy on my inner order.”

It turned out that he thought, if I didn’t take life seriously, how could I write really touching words? Those things that have a core must arise from life itself, otherwise it is just a pile of rhetoric.

At that moment, I suddenly realized that I used to separate the two. I don’t want to spend time on trivial matters, I would rather read two more pages and think about two more questions. Only now I realize that if you don’t take root in your life, your thoughts and thoughts must be empty and tasteless.

To deal with life, some patience is necessary, and this patience will also become a kind of accumulation of creation.

And the good thing about communication is that not only does it allow us to get to know each other better and be closer, but it also allows me to get to know myself better.

For example, sometimes when he talks to me, I move my eyes, but I don’t turn my head, so I “look at people sideways.” Many times I obviously can’t do one thing well, but I bite the bullet and won’t take the initiative to ask for help. He will speak out. And these are also unconscious behaviors that I hadn’t noticed before.

When I was cooking, he would ask me with a look of embarrassment on my face, “What do you want, what do you want to do? You tell me. You give an order, and I will execute it.” Later he told me, “You have to be brave to give to me.” I make your request. “

He has always encouraged me to express my feelings and make demands. And after I try these gradually, I also feel more open-minded. It turns out that trying to get rid of my original behavioral habits is only the first step. As long as I take the first step boldly, it will become easier and easier.

In short, learning to communicate actively and expressing your feelings and needs actively is too important for an intimate relationship.

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