In middle school, I discovered that my sexuality was different. At that time, I didn’t know the word homosexuality. I only knew that I always fantasized about the male body. I always found that my crotch was wet when I woke up in the morning because I met a boy in my dream.
Later, because the boys I liked with all my heart were all straight men, they had good memories and had ambiguous behaviors, but in the end they never had a formal relationship.
I often wonder, if there was a drug that could change my sexual orientation, would I take it?
If after eating I will become a man who likes women, I can speak my love out loud, even if I am rejected, others will not feel disgust and fear, will I eat?
Knowing the impossible is the most troublesome thing to think about. Although there may not be such a drug for me to choose in reality, I made the most prudent choice in my thinking.
I will not eat.
There are many reasons for not eating, but there are three points to sum up.
First, homosexuality is not a disease and does not require medicine to be cured.
So far, science has not researched how homosexuality arises. Some people say that it is determined by innate genes, some people say that it is learned and cultivated the day after tomorrow, and some people say that there are both innate and acquired factors. No matter what the final conclusion of the scientists is, as a homosexual, I have a personal experience of my own sexual orientation. I clearly know that I like boys from the beginning of my sexual desire. In that innocent age, I didn’t even know What is homosexuality, the love stories on TV are all about the entanglement of men and women, and it will not be the acquired sexual orientation of my homosexuality.
After I knew my sexual orientation, I tried to change, tried to touch the girl’s body in the past, tried to have more intimate actions with the girl, but my body not only did not respond, but as I grew older, I became more intimate with the girl. Contact is even more and more resistant. I finally know and accept that my sexuality cannot be changed.
The code of liking boys is written in my genes. Apart from making me different in sexual orientation, this gene has not caused me any physical and psychological morbidity. If I don’t admit it myself, no one can see it. I am gay and no hospital can diagnose me as gay. Since it’s not a disease, I don’t need to take medicine.
Second, homosexuality is not wrong, so don’t take medicine to correct it.
Pure and sincere love should never be blamed, no one needs to be corrected for giving love, just because the object of his love does not meet the expectations of most people.
There’s nothing wrong with loving someone, it’s not a compulsion. Same-sex love, like opposite-sex love, may be rejected or accepted by the object of love. But why do some people rejoice when they are pursued by the opposite sex because they are attractive, but feel disgusted when they are pursued by the same sex? Was it the one who gave the love, or the one who felt sick? Who should take medicine more?
Third, and most importantly, if I take medicine and change my sexual orientation, am I still the same me?
Some people will raise the bar and say that people change every moment, whether in mind or body, so tomorrow’s you will not be today’s you.
But there are obvious loopholes in their sophistry, that is, the reason why you are for you and the reason why I am for me, no matter how we change, there are always some constant things that define us, and it is these things that make us unique among the vast crowd We, let us have a little bit of recognition among all living beings. Some people always stick to a bottom line in their life and will not change easily, we know that he is a person with principles; People follow and practice their own hearts throughout their lives, and we know that he is a real person. And homosexuality has left a deep imprint on our previous lives, accompanying us almost day and night, affecting almost every choice and decision we make. If time starts again, if I am no longer gay, my day must be completely different. sure. From this point of view, homosexuality is no longer a variable variable in my life, but a fixed variable that participates in defining my life. If it changes, I will no longer be me.
Looking to the future, if I take the medicine, I will fall in love with girls, and I will no longer like boys. In the future, when I see a beautiful girl having a physical reaction, I will no longer be able to understand why I once saw a handsome boy have the same reaction. The memories and heartbeats of the past may be a joke to me in the future.
The world is the sum of a series of events.
The same is true of man, who is the sum total of a series of events that he has experienced. As there is a widely circulated saying, in your temperament, there are the paths you have traveled,the books you have read and the people you have loved. In our past lives, every day after our sexual awakening was accompanied by the urge to like the same sex. If one day, I suddenly became like the opposite sex, it would be a complete break with my current self, as if my life had ended. This ends, after taking the pill, another person will live in the body. He may read the books I have read, but he will not walk the road I have walked, and he will not love the people I have loved. That man occupies my body, in my name, but he is never me.
To choose not to take this magical pill is to choose to have the past self, to have all the sorrows and joys along the way, and to accept the present self, all the advantages and disadvantages of oneself, and the one who is different from the crowd. self. Maybe one day, this unique me in the crowd can shine in the crowd.