Are my sexual fantasies normal?

We got an inquiry that made me decide to write a serious science about sexual fantasies.

He said: I am particularly troubled by one thing now, and it has been a long, long time. No one dares to say it, and I don’t know how to restrain or solve it. I am really afraid that something uncontrollable will happen if this continues. Afterwards, he carefully told me the whole process of the matter. He has been married for 3 years, and his sex life with his wife is generally harmonious. It wasn’t until he met his friend’s girlfriend a year ago that he had “abnormal” thoughts about that woman in his mind. Every time he is in love with his wife, he will imagine his wife as that woman, so that he will feel more exciting and satisfied. When he realized this problem, he also deliberately controlled himself not to think about it. The love process and the results are not always satisfactory. He controlled himself not to fantasize, he lost interest in sex, and he could not feel the release and satisfaction of desire. But he didn’t control it, and when he saw that woman again, he really wanted to do something with her. He knew that he was not allowed to do this, and he was often ashamed of his wife, so he decided to chat with me.

The same thing happened to another girl. The young lady and her husband have been married for many years. They are plain couples. There is no romance in life and no passion for sex. But she often thinks of her first love when she is in love. By imagining her husband as her first love, she can devote herself to this sex, otherwise it will be like a prop to satisfy her husband. She also occasionally regards her husband as a real existence and devotes herself to him. But before the relationship, she would keep hinting to herself: I belong to him with all my heart tonight, and I can’t think of anyone. Similarly, she also felt ashamed of her husband, but there was no way to avoid or change it. Perhaps, there will be many friends who feel that they just don’t love their partner and are “disloyal” to the other half. But is this really the case? Not necessarily.

First, we need to know what are sexual fantasies? Sexual fantasies: The most common sexual psychological activity that a normal person will have. When two people have a sexual relationship, the orgasm will come, and it will appear before and after the sexual behavior occurs. The frequency, content, and length of sexual fantasies will be related to each person’s sexual experience, imagination, and information received in the process of growing up. Differences in sexual fantasies between men and women: Women often fantasize about self-dominant ways of having sex. For example: fantasize about having a romantic and orderly sexual relationship with the object of your admiration and admiration. Men are generally more proactive and objective. Often based on visual imagination, their sexual fantasy objects are usually women around them who attract them, or they will fantasize about multiple women, watching others have sex, and others watching themselves.

Regarding sexual fantasies, psychoanalytic theories believe that it is the result of human subconsciousness. Psychology believes that sexual fantasies are the result of activity in the cerebral cortex, which is between the conscious and the subconscious. The reasons that ultimately lead to our sexual fantasies can be roughly divided into the following categories:

In the environment of sexual repression, women in general will feel ashamed of real sexual behavior. If they have sex according to their own wishes, they are afraid that the other party will feel that they are dissolute. In sexual fantasies, you can imagine pleasurable sexual behaviors dominated by yourself, reducing the sense of shame and debauchery in real sex. They also often fantasize that they are “bound”, “raped” and other more stimulating sexual behaviors to stimulate their brains and get “G tide”.

Long-term sexual life is not satisfied. This includes physical and spiritual sexual satisfaction. Commonly seen in women’s sexual tide disorder (men only care about satisfying themselves), men are not spiritually satisfied with the performance of the other half in bed. Sexual fantasies occur.

She has not had sex for a long time, and is influenced by pornographic information or videos, and fantasizes about herself as the hero and heroine in the film.

Is it normal or bad to have sexual fantasies? In fact, no, sexual fantasies have a positive effect most of the time, and sexual fantasies are an essential factor in sex. When having sex, it can be combined with the body to produce a more intense sexual experience, which can make the sexual G tide more intense and satisfying. Sexual fantasies can also keep married sex-weary partners fresh. In the long-term marriage life, the husband and wife have been troubled by each other’s body, posture, and environment, and each time sex is like completing a fixed “homework”.

 At this time, sexual fantasies can regulate each other’s satisfaction. Sexual fantasies can also be used to aid in the treatment of G-tidal disorder. Sexual fantasies are the most effective way to achieve a G-wave. So far, women have been able to achieve the G tide just by virtue of their sexual fantasies, which requires a lot of experience in sexual fantasies and a wealth of imagination. This is why it is often said that the largest sexual organ in the human body is the brain. Of course, there will still be many people who have the anxiety and worry of the previous two cases. Fear of doing illegal things because of sexual fantasies, or cheating because of sexual fantasies. In fact, a person with normal consciousness and mental health generally does not confuse reality and sexual fantasy, and they can distinguish the boundaries. Individuals can be classified from the environment of their sexual life. There are also some people with relatively weak self-control. They can’t control their thoughts and behaviors, and they let their sexual fantasies affect their lives and cause sexual behavior deviations. Some of them will even develop into obsessive sexual fantasies. At this time, professional psychosexual therapy is required.

Sexual fantasies are not infidelity or psychological problems, but a common state of mind in sex. If your partner has sexual fantasies, and within normal fantasies, it does not affect you or your life. Then, we can treat it normally, just as we would treat our own sexual fantasies. If your partner even has low libido and difficulty in orgasm, then you should guide him and encourage him to have sexual fantasies. You can also write a small composition about the sexual fantasy scene and send it to the other party. This method is often used in our women’s class students. In addition to helping women quickly obtain an orgasm, it can also break through women’s perception of sexual shame.

Therefore, appropriate sexual fantasy is conducive to the harmony between two people in sex. So, what counts as an appropriate sexual fantasy? If I have to give a clear boundary to this problem, I may not have a way to define it. But at least we need to understand this: Sexual fantasies are like dreams. You can’t expect the things in your dreams to become reality, and you can’t expect the objects or objects of your sexual fantasies to become reality. If you can distinguish these, then you can boldly use your imagination to add color to your sex.

1 thought on “Are my sexual fantasies normal?”

  1. Interesting read, I feel Sexual fantasies can be a Prius in a relationship as long as they are kept as fantasies

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