There’s one thing I’ve always wanted to write about, about sexual orientation. LGBT, I’m B, which is bisexual. It’s a pity that I didn’t gradually realize and accept this matter until I was around 30 years old.
I like women, mature and sexy, intellectual and generous, gentle and kind, will be deeply attracted to her. I also like men, calm and mature men, men in formal suits, and sunny sports men, which also make me unable to take my eyes off. This kind of liking is not limited to gender, but a pure appreciation and admiration for the beauty and brilliance displayed by different individuals, a kind of human instinct to yearn and pursue beautiful things.
When I was studying, I liked female students who were good-looking and good grades in school. They carefully kept their distance and occasionally played pranks, just like most boys. I once chased girls, but I was unlucky. I basically owned famous flowers and had stable feelings. Or maybe my conditions were too good and I lacked self-confidence. After work, it is difficult to meet women who are single and single.
Ever since I was a child, I have envied boys who are tall, handsome, or witty, and want to be friends with them, eager to have these advantages. Until these years, I have gradually discovered that more and more attention is paid to men, and the feelings for men are getting stronger and stronger. All these outstanding men around me and on the Internet exude charming charm. This kind of envy has turned into admiration, I finally realized that, in essence, I also like men. (Well, in fact, when dreaming, sometimes with women, sometimes with men, the subconscious will not lie)
After being harassed by my boss last time, he called me after get off work the next day. It was an apology, and the matter was over. So I re-examined my emotional life. I want to find someone, chat and hold hands, to appease the beast in my heart. I don’t want to make an appointment for the time being, I always feel that there is no emotional basis for sex, and the soul is missing. A friend suggested that I try it with both boys and girls, so that I can understand my true thoughts. I haven’t met the right person for the time being, and I’m not sure whether he or she will appear first. Frankly speaking, I am selfish, and I hope it is her in my heart, so that we will not bear all kinds of huge pressures and tests in the future.
I believe in love and am not sure if it will ever come in my life.
But I also hope that this society and this environment can truly usher in a more open and friendly day as soon as possible, with less rigidity and discrimination, and more kindness and tolerance. Couples of different gender combinations can easily and generously admit, hold hands to feel the sun, blow the breeze, and watch various scenery, mountains and seas together. Less time to be confused about identity issues, less energy to deal with worldly difficulties and pressures, so as not to lose the love of life.
Perhaps, wait until the day we become middle-aged and elderly people.